Honesty
I’ve come to the realization that my last short, Kuwentong Pag-ibig na Wagas is one of the best I’ve ever produced. I’ve just re-watched it; and the fact that I’m able to see it repeatedly (without squirming) is something, considering that I’m not really a big fan of my work - I’ve a very few pieces of my own that I really like (think three or four at most) and this is one of them.
It’s an honest film that I just wanted to make for myself - it wasn’t a requirement for any class or an entry to a film fest. It’s really just a personal piece that I felt like doing at that time. But of course, that’s not to say that I felt no pressure while creating it - I really set it to be my last short and the time I was producing it was just days after that damned lifetime achievement award of sorts (I’m kidding, I love you LSAA). Needless to say, all that in consideration, I just really wanted to make a film and well, have a good time.
And now a year and a half later, I’m stuck in a hellhole that I can’t seem to get out off. I’ve started and abandoned perhaps a dozen of projects since I’ve graduated, as nothing has come into fruition since that black and white flick. I guess what I’ve learned from all this is that I should really just stop waiting for “the next big project” and just get myself to make a film - stop denying that voice I’ve tried so hard to form, pull out something from my personal vault of melodramatic tales and shoot a goddamn short. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I don’t wanna waste anymore time than I already have.
Sometimes it’s really all a matter of staying true to yourself.
